It really sucks when you have to face the fact that you can do nothing more to help someone that you love. I have to tell a loved one that, although I love them and want very much to be able to help them, I can't do it anymore. My helping this person has created a situation that I can no longer live with and that is having a negative impact on my children. That is not okay and it has to stop. I have learned that this has been affecting my children more than I realized and I feel as though I have failed them because I did not notice before now. I now have to remedy that failure. The first steps in this process are two conversations that I must have. In the first conversation, I must be prepared to stand up for how I feel and to express that I am ready to completely rearrange my life, for the most part, if my decisions regarding how to fix this situation are not supported. In the second conversation, I have to tell someone that I love that I cannot and will not help them anymore. There is really nothing more that I can do to help them and helping them has created an unhealthy situation that is detrimental to my family and that has to end and give him a deadline to complete all the steps he must complete to be on his own because whether those steps are completed or not, as of that deadline, he is on his own.
These two conversations are going to involve having to assert myself and stand up for myself with two individuals that I don't do that very well with at all. One of those individuals will most likely see the reason of my argument and be able to rationally view the situation. The other individual will not and will try to engage me in a war of words by saying hurtful, hateful things attempting to push my buttons and get me to push back. I am praying for strength and for God to guide me through the coming days and to prepare me for what may lie ahead.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20
